Vietnamese Iced Coffee Fail {and Sweetened Condensed Success}

Yesterday, I came across a post from the fabulous Ree Drummond. She shared a recipe from Imbibe magazine for "Vietnamese Iced Coffee". I was instantly intrigued.

How -To: Vietnamese Iced Coffee

This sweet, creamy coffee tastes like coffee ice cream. In balmy Vietnam, it’s called cà phê sữa đá. Look for the cute, stout brewers at Vietnamese markets.

Ingredients: 2 tablespoons sweetened condensed milk; 4 teaspoons medium-fine coffee grounds; 6 oz. boiling water; several ice cubes

Tools: stainless steel Vietnamese coffee brewer ($4–$5 at Vietnamese markets); tall glass

Servings: 1

1. Pour 2 tablespoons sweetened condensed milk into a tall, ice-filled glass.

2. Place the brewer on top of the glass and put 4 teaspoons medium-fine coffee grounds in the brewer.

3. Set the filter plate in place, so that it sits loosely on top of the grounds. Tighten it slightly by turning it.

4. Pour boiling water over the filter plate to fill about one fourth of the brewer. Wait 20 to 30 seconds. If coffee streams out into the glass, the filter plate is too loose and needs to be tightened. Pour more hot water to fill the brewer. Cover with the brewer lid. Coffee should drip slowly onto the ice, with the entire brewing process lasting about 3 to 4 minutes.

5. After coffee has brewed, remove the brewer and stir the coffee drink

First of all, "cute, stout brewers at Vietnamese markets"? How quaint! But, alas, I know of no such market, nor do I possess a stainless steel Vietnamese coffee brewer. I knew I needed a backup plan because this recipe called for one of the loves of my life, sweetened condensed milk, and I just had to try it. I studied Ree's eight-hour process for cold-brewing the most perfect coffee know to man, then I pulled out my coffee pot. There was approximately six tablespoons of tepid, filmy coffee, left from this morning.

Good enough.

I poured the coffee over some ice, dropped in a generous dollop of sweetend condensed milk and a splash of half and half, and I stirred vigorously. It was pretty good, except I could hear the voices of all Vietnamese people everywhere, crying out over the injustice I had done the one drink that bears their name.

My gaze fell on a coupon that had just come in the mail, and I hatched a plan to make amends with southeast Asia.

While I was out this afternoon, I stopped at Dunkin Donuts and ordered a medium iced coffee, black.

The drive-through box squawked back at me, "Medium black coffee. Is that all?"

"Yes, iced coffee, please." (I learned this fun technique in child psychology! You repeat the child's statement, nonconfrontationally correcting them within your own statement. Noam Chomsky would have been impressed. Drive-through-guy wasn't.)

[squawk] "Yah, yah, yah... Pull a-head please."

Ah, Dunkin. Always with the excellent customer service.

I went straight home and mixed in a heaping spoonful of sweetened condensed milk, another splash of half and half and some more ice. I casually staged it on the deck railing, nestled between the decorative lighting so I could take a picture. And, yes, I tied a precious little bow to the adorable paper straw. I know you appreciate this as much as I do.

By the way, it tasted fantastic!