What are these things called?

No, actually, it doesn't matter. I'll still hate them just as much, even if I know what they're called. :)

Should we break it to our copywriting friends that no one thinks about copywriters ever? It's nothing personal. There are plenty of perfectly respectable professions that nobody ever thinks about. I would give some examples, but... well...I can't think of any. I rest my case.

(The best part of this one is the "Buddhist Boot Camp" at the bottom. What would that look like? Really, now I'm intrigued.)

 

  Okay, fine. I was a TEENSY bit amused by the metal detecting one. :)

But then I got to the teenage ones. I LOVE teenager stereotypes.
FALSE. I do not love them, they are the second worst thing ever.
 Right after whatever-these-are-called. 

Let's throw in lack of regard for spelling/grammar/capitalization/punctuation (third worst thing ever) and we have hit the TRIFECTA, my friends. 

Note: I realize these are not, in fact, the worst things ever. However, I'm hoping my extreme scorn will influence the general population and hasten the day when whatever-these-are-called are no more. :)